Red Flags and Deal Breakers...Some Personal Thoughts

These past few weeks we have been talking about dating.

It made me think about all those couples that took things too far and ignored the “red flag” in their relationship. They thought that they could change the other person, but in reality they can’t. They go ahead and get married and have a baby and then realize that they don’t love each other, and someone walks out of the marriage. The precious baby will always wonder why they can’t have a normal family like everyone else.

I know that feeling because I come from a broken family. I always wonder what my life would have been like if I got to see my dad regularly instead of once every four years. I fear the day my dad dies because I’ll be at his funeral and I’ll have nothing to say because I don’t know him.

So what I am trying to say is to take it slow and enjoy dating. There is no rush to have a baby. There will be time when you have found Mr. Right, your home is stable, and you are ready. Give your baby the best life you can give. Beware of the “red flags” and get out if you see them.

-Dominique, a student in Ms. Morales's class.

Red Flags and Deal Breakers

In our classes on dating and relationships we talked about red flags and deal breakers.

I remember a trip I took with my parents when I was a teenager. We got a flat as we were going around a curve in the mountains. I had to get out and take a red towel (flag), go back around the curve, and flag the cars that were about to go around the curve to where our car was.

What was the red flag saying? Slow down. Caution. There could be trouble ahead. Pay attention.

Sometimes in our relationships we see red flags. There are behaviors or decisions being made that should be looked at and thought about more closely.

Maybe someone is disrespecting you or mistreating you. Maybe you are seeing anger or violence you haven’t seen before. There are many things people do that could be a red flag. Slow down, watch their behavior. Is this a onetime thing because of a bad day or is this a pattern of behavior?

Red flags are there to protect us if we will respond to them.

Once you see a red flag you must decide if it is a deal breaker. A deal breaker is something that causes you to know that you cannot continue in the relationship with this person.

When you see a red flag you, must ask yourself if this behavior or situation is something that you can live with or should live with.  If a guy has blonde hair and you usually prefer black but he has good character and treats you right, it probably will not be a deal breaker. If you love pizza and he hates it, it will probably be something you can deal with and will not be a deal breaker.

If he is not a firm Christian and you are sold out to God, it should be a deal breaker. If he is disrespectful to you or your family, that should be a deal breaker. If he does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated or is ever violent toward you, that should be a deal breaker.

Look at the red flags and deal breakers in your relationships.

As always, Walk In Your Beauty.

Kristi Morales