This post originally appeared on Jody's blog at jodycapehart.com.
It’s true what they say: blessings often come when we least expect it.
Today I received a blessing – one I will never forget – from Kristi Morales’ girls’ Bible class at the Master’s Academy in Duncanville.
The girls had invited me to their class because they are using the Christian Charm Course for Girls that I wrote with my daughter, Angela. Ms. Morales and the girls have been sharing their thoughts and experiences on the C-7 blog connected to the Charm Course.
I arrived at the school expecting to spend some time with the girls getting to know them and talking about ‘girl stuff.’ Oh, was I surprised and blessed!
When I entered, the girls had set up a beautiful breakfast, with decorated tables, a Christmas tree, and my favorite – Christmas music! They presented me with a beautiful hand-made card, a diamond (not a real one but one symbolic of the beauty of a woman that overcomes trials), a poem, candles, and photo ornament. How could they know about my favorite things when we had never met? I was deeply touched and completely overwhelmed.
Even more beautiful were the girls themselves. They were allowed to drop the school uniform for the day in exchange for their outfits of choice. Each and every girl looked exquisite. And they radiated joy and happiness. I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole time I was there.
I credit Ms. Morales, Principal Lynn Watson, and the other teachers at Master’s Academy for the love and wisdom they have cultivated in the lives of these girls. The culture of the school could be felt the minute my feet touched the threshold. The love of the Lord permeates every corner of this school!
The girls showed me around and are so proud of their school. They are completely vested in it. They read me the mission of the school, showed me the mascot, and the messages of each bulletin board that reflect the character of Christ. They’ve even won prizes for their floats in the parade! It truly warmed my heart to see students who truly love their school!
If you haven’t read the C-7 blog yet, may I encourage you to do so – because many fantastic contributions have come from Ms. Morales and her girls. This exceptional group of young ladies has gone far beyond the scope of the Christian Charm Course in truly examining what it means to be a C-7 girl: Christ-like, changed hearts, committed, confident, charming, classy, and caring.
Ms. Morales even coined a phrase I wish I had thought of for the book: Walk in Your Beauty.
Believe me, these girls do exactly that.
As always, I took pictures! They are on my Facebook page here. But the pictures do not tell the whole story. They do not capture the depth and inner beauty of this group of 6th through 12th grade girls learning and maturing in a way that truly surprised me in such a meaningful way.
From reading what they had been writing on the blog, I knew I would be blessed by going to visit them; I just had no idea to what extent.
Thank you, girls! You are so beautiful in every way!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Red Flags and Deal Breakers...Some Personal Thoughts
These past few weeks we have been talking about dating.
It made me think about all those couples that took things too far and ignored the “red flag” in their relationship. They thought that they could change the other person, but in reality they can’t. They go ahead and get married and have a baby and then realize that they don’t love each other, and someone walks out of the marriage. The precious baby will always wonder why they can’t have a normal family like everyone else.
I know that feeling because I come from a broken family. I always wonder what my life would have been like if I got to see my dad regularly instead of once every four years. I fear the day my dad dies because I’ll be at his funeral and I’ll have nothing to say because I don’t know him.
So what I am trying to say is to take it slow and enjoy dating. There is no rush to have a baby. There will be time when you have found Mr. Right, your home is stable, and you are ready. Give your baby the best life you can give. Beware of the “red flags” and get out if you see them.
-Dominique, a student in Ms. Morales's class.
It made me think about all those couples that took things too far and ignored the “red flag” in their relationship. They thought that they could change the other person, but in reality they can’t. They go ahead and get married and have a baby and then realize that they don’t love each other, and someone walks out of the marriage. The precious baby will always wonder why they can’t have a normal family like everyone else.
I know that feeling because I come from a broken family. I always wonder what my life would have been like if I got to see my dad regularly instead of once every four years. I fear the day my dad dies because I’ll be at his funeral and I’ll have nothing to say because I don’t know him.
So what I am trying to say is to take it slow and enjoy dating. There is no rush to have a baby. There will be time when you have found Mr. Right, your home is stable, and you are ready. Give your baby the best life you can give. Beware of the “red flags” and get out if you see them.
-Dominique, a student in Ms. Morales's class.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Red Flags and Deal Breakers
In our classes on dating and relationships we talked about red flags and deal breakers.
I remember a trip I took with my parents when I was a teenager. We got a flat as we were going around a curve in the mountains. I had to get out and take a red towel (flag), go back around the curve, and flag the cars that were about to go around the curve to where our car was.
What was the red flag saying? Slow down. Caution. There could be trouble ahead. Pay attention.
Sometimes in our relationships we see red flags. There are behaviors or decisions being made that should be looked at and thought about more closely.
Maybe someone is disrespecting you or mistreating you. Maybe you are seeing anger or violence you haven’t seen before. There are many things people do that could be a red flag. Slow down, watch their behavior. Is this a onetime thing because of a bad day or is this a pattern of behavior?
Red flags are there to protect us if we will respond to them.
Once you see a red flag you must decide if it is a deal breaker. A deal breaker is something that causes you to know that you cannot continue in the relationship with this person.
When you see a red flag you, must ask yourself if this behavior or situation is something that you can live with or should live with. If a guy has blonde hair and you usually prefer black but he has good character and treats you right, it probably will not be a deal breaker. If you love pizza and he hates it, it will probably be something you can deal with and will not be a deal breaker.
If he is not a firm Christian and you are sold out to God, it should be a deal breaker. If he is disrespectful to you or your family, that should be a deal breaker. If he does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated or is ever violent toward you, that should be a deal breaker.
Look at the red flags and deal breakers in your relationships.
As always, Walk In Your Beauty.
Kristi Morales
I remember a trip I took with my parents when I was a teenager. We got a flat as we were going around a curve in the mountains. I had to get out and take a red towel (flag), go back around the curve, and flag the cars that were about to go around the curve to where our car was.
What was the red flag saying? Slow down. Caution. There could be trouble ahead. Pay attention.
Sometimes in our relationships we see red flags. There are behaviors or decisions being made that should be looked at and thought about more closely.
Maybe someone is disrespecting you or mistreating you. Maybe you are seeing anger or violence you haven’t seen before. There are many things people do that could be a red flag. Slow down, watch their behavior. Is this a onetime thing because of a bad day or is this a pattern of behavior?
Red flags are there to protect us if we will respond to them.
Once you see a red flag you must decide if it is a deal breaker. A deal breaker is something that causes you to know that you cannot continue in the relationship with this person.
When you see a red flag you, must ask yourself if this behavior or situation is something that you can live with or should live with. If a guy has blonde hair and you usually prefer black but he has good character and treats you right, it probably will not be a deal breaker. If you love pizza and he hates it, it will probably be something you can deal with and will not be a deal breaker.
If he is not a firm Christian and you are sold out to God, it should be a deal breaker. If he is disrespectful to you or your family, that should be a deal breaker. If he does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated or is ever violent toward you, that should be a deal breaker.
Look at the red flags and deal breakers in your relationships.
As always, Walk In Your Beauty.
Kristi Morales
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
God Given Boundaries
This past week I spoke to my class about boundaries. Boundaries are the lines around us that keep us within a limited area.
God has given us boundaries. These boundaries are there for our protection, but many times we view them as rules that are put there to steal our fun. We think that by staying within the boundaries that God has set for us, we will miss out on something on the other side.
I remember when my son was learning to walk; I put a safety gate at the top of the stairs so that he would not fall down the stairs and hurt himself. He couldn’t understand that he was being protected by the gate. He only saw it as an obstacle in his way - something that was keeping him from having fun and doing what he wanted. He would stand at the gate and shake it and yell and cry because he couldn’t go past that point.
We are sometimes like that. We get mad because God has said to stay within a certain area with certain guidelines. We don’t see the consequences of crossing those boundaries. We think we know better, and we begin to push the boundaries. This is why there are so many teenagers dealing with unwanted pregnancies, avoidable health issues, emotional and physical scars, and trouble with the law and in their relationships with family and peers. They are dealing with problems that could be avoided by staying within the guidelines that God has set for us.
I challenge you to stop shaking the safety gate that God has placed around you. Stop climbing over it or sneaking under it. Accept the boundaries that have been placed around you by God as His love and care for you.
I didn’t put that safety gate up for my son because I wanted to make my son miserable. I put it up because I wanted to keep him safe and wanted him to grow up with as few bumps and bruises as possible. God has done the same for you because he loves you!
Remember, Walk In Your Beauty.
Kristi Morales
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Boundaries
I am in Ms. Morales’ Bible class. Right now in class Ms. Morales is talking about boundaries that you look for in guys and friends. I have boundaries with friends and with boyfriends. An example of a friend boundary is if they want you to go tepee someone’s house and you don’t want to, then that is a friend boundary. A boyfriend boundary is like if they want to kiss you when you told him you are not ready to, and they push, push, and push you until you have had enough. What Ms. Morales has been telling the class to do is to actually write down your boundaries and standards for your relationships. Now don’t go shoving it in your boyfriend's or friend's face. Whenever they are about to cross a certain boundary just say to them "I don’t do that on the first date," or whatever you want to say. What I personally think about boundaries is they will make you think about who you want to date, or maybe even marry. It has already helped me with who I want to date. Sometimes even keeping a dairy can release a lot of stress and emotions. Especially us women! Remember, walk in your beauty!
The above quote from a student in Ms. Morales’ class got me thinking about boundaries. I often don’t think of it because I have young daughters, but in essence we are teaching them to understand boundaries with their friends. Right now our focus seems to be on actions and words.
My six year old is doing the difficult work of trying to understand that sometimes friends disappoint us and tell us things they probably don’t mean. When this happens, we encourage her to have an “oh well” attitude (especially in the little things) and seek out a better friend.
She is learning to be kind, even when it’s hard. Friends have said things to her like, “I’m not your friend anymore” and “You’re not invited to my party.” Often, we dismiss talk like that by saying, “Oh they’re just kids.”
But we shouldn’t allow that kind of talk at all…it’s just so unkind.
Sometimes I feel like I nag and correct every little thing, but there are just some things that I can’t dismiss. We desire for our girls to grow up to be loving, compassionate, and kind women, showing God’s love to everyone…even those who are hard to love. After all, if we are striving to be like Him, shouldn’t we love the same people He loves?
Ms. Morales encourages her students to write down their boundaries and standards for relationships. I think this really helps solidify what is important to us in a relationship, whether it be friends or boyfriends.
As our girls get older and their friends become more influential, I hope we’ve given them a good start. Those boundary talks will no doubt become more important.
The above quote from a student in Ms. Morales’ class got me thinking about boundaries. I often don’t think of it because I have young daughters, but in essence we are teaching them to understand boundaries with their friends. Right now our focus seems to be on actions and words.
My six year old is doing the difficult work of trying to understand that sometimes friends disappoint us and tell us things they probably don’t mean. When this happens, we encourage her to have an “oh well” attitude (especially in the little things) and seek out a better friend.
She is learning to be kind, even when it’s hard. Friends have said things to her like, “I’m not your friend anymore” and “You’re not invited to my party.” Often, we dismiss talk like that by saying, “Oh they’re just kids.”
But we shouldn’t allow that kind of talk at all…it’s just so unkind.
Sometimes I feel like I nag and correct every little thing, but there are just some things that I can’t dismiss. We desire for our girls to grow up to be loving, compassionate, and kind women, showing God’s love to everyone…even those who are hard to love. After all, if we are striving to be like Him, shouldn’t we love the same people He loves?
Ms. Morales encourages her students to write down their boundaries and standards for relationships. I think this really helps solidify what is important to us in a relationship, whether it be friends or boyfriends.
As our girls get older and their friends become more influential, I hope we’ve given them a good start. Those boundary talks will no doubt become more important.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Created for a Purpose
The following quotation does not come from one of the adult authors of this blog. It is not Jody Capehart the author, Karen the mother-blogger, or Kristi the teacher. It comes from Dominque, one of the students in Kristi’s girls’ Bible class using Jody’s Charm Course for Girls. And it is a testimony to the impact had on the lives of girls from people who care about their character.
“Life is a race and sometimes you feel like you can't finish. You need friends to pick you up and carry you to the finish line. In our Bible class I am learning how to be a woman of God and how many girls hurt and need someone just to listen. So many of us get so caught up in what we want that we forget about others. So many girls don't understand their worth and that the world needs them just the way they are. If we could just stop focusing on ourselves but on other people, we can change lives. God created all of us for a purpose.”
-Dominique, (Student Body President)
“Life is a race and sometimes you feel like you can't finish. You need friends to pick you up and carry you to the finish line. In our Bible class I am learning how to be a woman of God and how many girls hurt and need someone just to listen. So many of us get so caught up in what we want that we forget about others. So many girls don't understand their worth and that the world needs them just the way they are. If we could just stop focusing on ourselves but on other people, we can change lives. God created all of us for a purpose.”
-Dominique, (Student Body President)
Friday, October 22, 2010
No More Drama
Our class decided that a slumber party would be a fun way to bond and get to know each other better. There is something that you all need to know about me. I love my girls, I love to have fun, I love parties…I hate slumber parties. The idea made my body cringe. I tend to hallucinate after 2 a.m. and by 4 a.m. I am of no use to anyone. So we decided to have an afternoon slumber party – thank you girls!
We set the party from three in the afternoon to nine in the evening. Everyone wore their pajamas and brought their favorite snacks. We decorated everything in girl colors and declared it a "Drama Free Zone."
We started the party by sitting in a circle together. I gave each girl a colorful beaded necklace with a printed card attached to it with the word" Drama." We talked about what drama is and what drama does and how we don't need it in our lives. We then ceremoniously ripped the card off the necklace and threw it in the trash can. I then pointed out that without the drama we were left with beauty (our necklace). This set the tone and the boundaries for the rest of the event.
We played several games----with no drama.
We did hair and make-up----with no drama.
We ate-----with no drama.
At one point, toward the end of the night, one of the games got a little competitive. Drama began to come out in attitudes and out of mouths. At that moment, three of the girls in charge of the games approached me and had realized the game was going in the wrong direction. They went back, changed the game, and got everyone back on track. They got it! They understood the peace that comes from being in a drama free zone.
So what did we accomplish with this slumber party? I witnessed girls becoming leaders. I watched girls reach out to other girls and get them involved. Girls formed bonds that can only be formed by spending time outside of the classroom and with a freedom to get to know people outside your own circle. And we established a boundary in our school....no drama.
I encourage all of us: Let’s take the unnecessary drama out of our lives. No more gossip. No more making situations bigger than they are. No more leaving people out. No more pettiness. No more getting involved in things that don't concern us. No more stirring things up to get an emotional response. No More Drama!
-------------------------------------
Kristi Morales is a Bible teacher at Master's Academy who is using Jody's Christian Charm Course for Girls in her all girls Bible class this year. She expressed her appreciation for the book and agreed to contribute her thoughts on the lives of her girls and her Bible class throughout the school year.
We set the party from three in the afternoon to nine in the evening. Everyone wore their pajamas and brought their favorite snacks. We decorated everything in girl colors and declared it a "Drama Free Zone."
We started the party by sitting in a circle together. I gave each girl a colorful beaded necklace with a printed card attached to it with the word" Drama." We talked about what drama is and what drama does and how we don't need it in our lives. We then ceremoniously ripped the card off the necklace and threw it in the trash can. I then pointed out that without the drama we were left with beauty (our necklace). This set the tone and the boundaries for the rest of the event.
We played several games----with no drama.
We did hair and make-up----with no drama.
We ate-----with no drama.
At one point, toward the end of the night, one of the games got a little competitive. Drama began to come out in attitudes and out of mouths. At that moment, three of the girls in charge of the games approached me and had realized the game was going in the wrong direction. They went back, changed the game, and got everyone back on track. They got it! They understood the peace that comes from being in a drama free zone.
So what did we accomplish with this slumber party? I witnessed girls becoming leaders. I watched girls reach out to other girls and get them involved. Girls formed bonds that can only be formed by spending time outside of the classroom and with a freedom to get to know people outside your own circle. And we established a boundary in our school....no drama.
I encourage all of us: Let’s take the unnecessary drama out of our lives. No more gossip. No more making situations bigger than they are. No more leaving people out. No more pettiness. No more getting involved in things that don't concern us. No more stirring things up to get an emotional response. No More Drama!
-------------------------------------
Kristi Morales is a Bible teacher at Master's Academy who is using Jody's Christian Charm Course for Girls in her all girls Bible class this year. She expressed her appreciation for the book and agreed to contribute her thoughts on the lives of her girls and her Bible class throughout the school year.
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