Raising a C-7 Girl

We all know the cliché generalization that boys tend to be more physical, while girls are usually more emotional.  But that seems to be exactly the case with our oldest daughter who, at six years old, has been known to shed tears over the simplest of things, like not being able to find a certain pair of shoes in the house.  Of course the truth is that it takes a lot of energy, dedication, and wisdom to raise a child – regardless of their gender.  But somehow right now it feels like this is an issue that I cannot figure out.
 
My husband and I often talk about how to help her with understanding, controlling, and expressing her emotions.  I keep telling myself it’s an issue of maturity and she’ll grow out of it.  So far there is no sign of maturing in this area. 

Sometimes tears are due to lack of sleep.  But it’s the tears that appear to be for no reason that baffle us.  We have always tried to give her the words to use to express herself and her frustrations, and we really try hard not to respond and give any undue attention to behavior that strays from what we expect her to display.  Still nothing seems to work.  I find myself asking other moms of daughters if they have experienced this. 

I recently came across an article titled, “Raising Girls to be Strong Women.”  It had a lot of valid points.  For example, teaching our daughters the importance of earning their own money and choosing how to spend it.  If she has chosen to blow it all on something silly and then doesn’t have enough money to go to the movies with her friends, do not bail her out.  That consequence might provide a lesson that she won’t forget.  Also, be prepared to talk in unexpected places.  Seize the opportunity to talk and listen when it happens, don’t wait and think it will happen again later.

When the world tells us that our girls need to be “strong women,” I think we can replace that phrase with the word COURAGEOUS.  Be strong and very courageous.  Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:7

The author suggests ten ways we can raise our girls to be strong women. I have listed some of these ways and tied them into our C-7 principles.

• Support her changing interests.  Girls tend to change their mind about likes and dislikes very often.  Encourage her to be courageous as she tries something new.

• Let her explore differing roles.  This is the perfect opportunity to provide some culture.  One day she may be interested in cooking, the next she might be interested in fixing something.  She’ll find what interests her and won’t be left with missed opportunities that she wished she experienced.

• Give her something to believe in.  A foundation in Christ will prove to be more lasting than anything else.  She is after all, a changed creation.

• Teaching her responsibility also teaches her to be committed.

• Help her transcend her own nature by discussing acceptable behavior while acknowledging the validity of her emotions.  We as parents should avoid emotional manipulation.  If we teach our daughters how to understand and express their emotions properly, we will be encouraging a charming attitude.  A charming young lady displays compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love.

• Giving her boundaries will provide opportunity to display Christ-like character.

• Lead by example.  If our daughters see us showing respect, politeness, and how to resolve conflicts appropriately, they will grow up with a certain class that others will see and want. 

You may want to take one of these for each day this week. Talk about what it means with your daughter. Share ways for her to grow in this area. At night, reflect upon ways that she was able to have courage to explore new interests, be more committed in her responsibilities, or reflect Christ-like character as she followed the boundaries you established for her. When you see your daughter grow in one of these areas, verbalize your praise to help her realize she is growing in God’s ways.