God Given Boundaries

This past week I spoke to my class about boundaries. Boundaries are the lines around us that keep us within a limited area. 

God has given us boundaries. These boundaries are there for our protection, but many times we view them as rules that are put there to steal our fun. We think that by staying within the boundaries that God has set for us, we will miss out on something on the other side.

I remember when my son was learning to walk; I put a safety gate at the top of the stairs so that he would not fall down the stairs and hurt himself. He couldn’t understand that he was being protected by the gate. He only saw it as an obstacle in his way - something that was keeping him from having fun and doing what he wanted. He would stand at the gate and shake it and yell and cry because he couldn’t go past that point. 

We are sometimes like that. We get mad because God has said to stay within a certain area with certain guidelines. We don’t see the consequences of crossing those boundaries. We think we know better, and we begin to push the boundaries. This is why there are so many teenagers dealing with unwanted pregnancies, avoidable health issues, emotional and physical scars, and trouble with the law and in their relationships with family and peers. They are dealing with problems that could be avoided by staying within the guidelines that God has set for us.

I challenge you to stop shaking the safety gate that God has placed around you. Stop climbing over it or sneaking under it. Accept the boundaries that have been placed around you by God as His love and care for you. 

I didn’t put that safety gate up for my son because I wanted to make my son miserable. I put it up because I wanted to keep him safe and wanted him to grow up with as few bumps and bruises as possible. God has done the same for you because he loves you!

Remember, Walk In Your Beauty.

Kristi Morales

Boundaries

I am in Ms. Morales’ Bible class. Right now in class Ms. Morales is talking about boundaries that you look for in guys and friends. I have boundaries with friends and with boyfriends. An example of a friend boundary is if they want you to go tepee someone’s house and you don’t want to, then that is a friend boundary. A boyfriend boundary is like if they want to kiss you when you told him you are not ready to, and they push, push, and push you until you have had enough. What Ms. Morales has been telling the class to do is to actually write down your boundaries and standards for your relationships. Now don’t go shoving it in your boyfriend's or friend's face. Whenever they are about to cross a certain boundary just say to them "I don’t do that on the first date," or whatever you want to say. What I personally think about boundaries is they will make you think about who you want to date, or maybe even marry. It has already helped me with who I want to date. Sometimes even keeping a dairy can release a lot of stress and emotions. Especially us women! Remember, walk in your beauty!

The above quote from a student in Ms. Morales’ class got me thinking about boundaries.  I often don’t think of it because I have young daughters, but in essence we are teaching them to understand boundaries with their friends.  Right now our focus seems to be on actions and words.

My six year old is doing the difficult work of trying to understand that sometimes friends disappoint us and tell us things they probably don’t mean.  When this happens, we encourage her to have an “oh well” attitude (especially in the little things) and seek out a better friend. 

She is learning to be kind, even when it’s hard.  Friends have said things to her like, “I’m not your friend anymore” and “You’re not invited to my party.”  Often, we dismiss talk like that by saying, “Oh they’re just kids.” 

But we shouldn’t allow that kind of talk at all…it’s just so unkind. 

Sometimes I feel like I nag and correct every little thing, but there are just some things that I can’t dismiss.  We desire for our girls to grow up to be loving, compassionate, and kind women, showing God’s love to everyone…even those who are hard to love.  After all, if we are striving to be like Him, shouldn’t we love the same people He loves?

Ms. Morales encourages her students to write down their boundaries and standards for relationships.  I think this really helps solidify what is important to us in a relationship, whether it be friends or boyfriends. 

As our girls get older and their friends become more influential, I hope we’ve given them a good start.  Those boundary talks will no doubt become more important.