Boundaries

I am in Ms. Morales’ Bible class. Right now in class Ms. Morales is talking about boundaries that you look for in guys and friends. I have boundaries with friends and with boyfriends. An example of a friend boundary is if they want you to go tepee someone’s house and you don’t want to, then that is a friend boundary. A boyfriend boundary is like if they want to kiss you when you told him you are not ready to, and they push, push, and push you until you have had enough. What Ms. Morales has been telling the class to do is to actually write down your boundaries and standards for your relationships. Now don’t go shoving it in your boyfriend's or friend's face. Whenever they are about to cross a certain boundary just say to them "I don’t do that on the first date," or whatever you want to say. What I personally think about boundaries is they will make you think about who you want to date, or maybe even marry. It has already helped me with who I want to date. Sometimes even keeping a dairy can release a lot of stress and emotions. Especially us women! Remember, walk in your beauty!

The above quote from a student in Ms. Morales’ class got me thinking about boundaries.  I often don’t think of it because I have young daughters, but in essence we are teaching them to understand boundaries with their friends.  Right now our focus seems to be on actions and words.

My six year old is doing the difficult work of trying to understand that sometimes friends disappoint us and tell us things they probably don’t mean.  When this happens, we encourage her to have an “oh well” attitude (especially in the little things) and seek out a better friend. 

She is learning to be kind, even when it’s hard.  Friends have said things to her like, “I’m not your friend anymore” and “You’re not invited to my party.”  Often, we dismiss talk like that by saying, “Oh they’re just kids.” 

But we shouldn’t allow that kind of talk at all…it’s just so unkind. 

Sometimes I feel like I nag and correct every little thing, but there are just some things that I can’t dismiss.  We desire for our girls to grow up to be loving, compassionate, and kind women, showing God’s love to everyone…even those who are hard to love.  After all, if we are striving to be like Him, shouldn’t we love the same people He loves?

Ms. Morales encourages her students to write down their boundaries and standards for relationships.  I think this really helps solidify what is important to us in a relationship, whether it be friends or boyfriends. 

As our girls get older and their friends become more influential, I hope we’ve given them a good start.  Those boundary talks will no doubt become more important.